1. Talk about Tolerance
Tolerance is an ongoing process; it cannot be captured in a
single moment. Establish a high "comfort level" for open dialogue
about social issues. Let children know that no subject is taboo.
2. Identify intolerance when children are exposed to it
Point out stereotypes and cultural misinformation depicted in
movies, TV shows, computer games and other media. Challenge
bias when it comes from friends and family members. Do not let
the moment pass. Begin with a qualified statement: "Andrew just
called people of XYZ faith 'lunatics.' What do you think about
that, Zoe?" Let children do most of the talking.
3. Challenge intolerance when it comes from your children
When a child says or does something that reflects biases or
embraces stereotypes, point it out: "What makes that joke funny,
Jerome?" Guide the conversation toward internalization of empathy
and respect"Mimi uses a walker, honey. How do you think
she would feel about that joke?" or "How did you feel when Robbie
made fun of your glasses last week?"
4. Support your children when they are the victims of intolerance
Respect children's troubles by acknowledging when they become
targets of bias. Don't minimize the experience. Provide emotional
support and then brainstorm constructive responses. Develop
a set of "comebacks" for children who are victims of name-calling.
5. Foster a healthy understanding of group identities
For tweens and teens, group identity is critical. Remind them,
however, of three things. First, pride in our own groups does
not mandate disrespect for others. Second, no group is entitled
to special privileges. Third, we should avoid putting other
groups down as a way to elevate the status of our own groups.
6. Showcase diversity materials in your home
Read books with multicultural and tolerance themes to your children.
Assess the cultural diversity reflected in your home's artwork,
music and literature. Add something new. Give multicultural
dolls, toys or games as gifts. Bookmark equity and diversity
Web sites on your home computer.
7. Create opportunities for children to interact with people
who are different from them
Look critically at how a child defines "normal." Expand the
definition. Visit playgrounds where a variety of children are
presentpeople of different races/ethnicities, socioeconomic
backgrounds, family structures, etc. Encourage a child to spend
time with eldersgrandparents, for example. Attend religious
services at a variety of houses of worship.
8. Encourage children to call upon community resources
The earlier children interact with the community, the better;
we are not islands unto ourselves. If a child is interested
in stars, visit the local library, museum or planetarium. A
child who is concerned about world hunger can volunteer at a
local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
9. Be honest about differences
Do not tell children that we are all the same; we're not. We
experience the world in different ways, and those experiences
matter. Help your child understand the viewpoints of others.
10. Model the behavoiur you would like to see
As parents and as children's primary role models, we must be
consistent in how we treat others and in our commitment to tolerance.
If we as parents treat people differently based on characteristics
such as race or gender, our children are likely to do the same.
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